


Logan’s Logs

by Inevitable404



Series: Shades of Gray [1]
Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Abandonment, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, Captivity, Character Death, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Deceit Sanders Angst, Fear, Imprisonment, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Panic Attacks, Self-Reflection, Stabbing, Starvation, Thoughts of death, Trapped, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 15,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24032032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inevitable404/pseuds/Inevitable404
Summary: Logan goes into his room to work for just a few hours, and when he tried to leave his room, he can’t sink out and his door is locked. Who will save him? Who will even remember him?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Logan Sanders and Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Series: Shades of Gray [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746070
Comments: 75
Kudos: 247





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops. I accidentally wrote like 13 chapters in the span of 5 hours so here is a jumbled mess

As Logan grabbed his daily array of snacks, he didn't pay much attention to the looks from Roman and Patton. He had grown used to them, and he simply did not have the energy to care anymore. He didn't care about the snide remarks that they make under the guise of light teasing, and he most certainly didn't care when they gave him a jump rope for Christmas a few years back. He was, by a slight margin, heavier than the other aforementioned sides.  
He was the tallest, the broadest, and the strongest by far, but they only saw the slightly protruding gut that they made out to be akin to holding a beachball under his loose shirt. Logan used to care, certainly. But after a long road to acceptance, he knew that he was okay with himself. He knew that although he had stretch marks and although the numbers on the scale were numerically higher than other peoples, that he was invaluable, and that he was living a healthy lifestyle.  
So he grabbed his snacks, which included 2 bottles of water, 2 apples, a bowl of broccoli and carrots, and one bag of chips, and placed them in his snack bag that he carried down with him to carry the array of food. And went to his room to work for the day, the door clicking with a sort of familiarity behind him. As he worked, he absentmindedly ate his snacks, which provided him with not only energy to get through the day, but also helped him to concentrate on his work. Every so often he grabbed his tape recorder and remarked on it, a reminder for later or just random occurrence or thought. When his alarm went off several hours later, alerting him to stop working, he stood up and stretched, eyes tired and watering from looking at his computer screen for so long.  
It was time to go to the common room to participate in the mandatory watching of animated films with the inhalation of buttered corn exposed to high temperatures, and he started to sink out. And he sank to the ground, and nothing happened. Logan stood back up, eyes scrunched in confusion. He stood back up and pulled his recorder from out of his pocket.  
“It is 6:32 p.m, and I have just attempted to sink out of my room. It did not work, so I shall try again.”  
And he did so, standing up and trying to sink out of his room again and again. Logan shook his head in frustration, then he remembered that doors exist. So he tried the door, expecting to fluidly turn in his grasp, but it stuck. Presumably jammed. He tried to shove against the door, trying to knock it into place so he could get out of the normally comforting room that was starting to close in around him. Logan attempted again and again until he could try no more and sank to the ground in defeat. He grabbed his recorder again, needing an outlet.  
“My door is jammed, and there are no other means of escape from my room. There are no windows, only the comfort of the light overhead that occasionally flickers. Presumably, my door will be able to be unlocked or unjammed from the other side.”  
“But I am not in a state of fear; I know that my absence will be noticed. I am invaluable, and I actively- or maybe more passively- participate in all of Roman and Patton and Virgil’s nonsense, so I as an audience will be missed.”  
“But, on the side of caution, I will refrain from eating the remains of my snacks, which are as follows: 1 and ½ water bottles, though if need be I can drink from the tap in my bathroom, I also have a family-sized bag of Cheddar-flavored Ruffles, 3/4ths full. So I will await my inevitable rescue by sleeping. Logan signing out.”


	2. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan’s Logs Day Three
> 
> They should be coming soon  
> They have to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What it’s the third day already o u c h

“This is Day Three of being locked in my room. Its- It's understandable. I've worked for a few days on end before, so maybe they believe that that is the case. I am worried about the metaphorical dark sides, though. On Thursdays, I usually check upon them to make sure that they have an adequate supply of food and to make sure that they are keeping themselves and Thomas in check. Nothing else happens, I swear on a life. “  
“ I have to admit, I am tempted to eat the rest of the chips right now, but I could be here another day or two, so I shall continue to ration it. I am done with my water supply, so I have been filling up the water bottles with tap water from my restroom, so I shall remain well hydrated.”  
“ On the bright side- oh, look at that. I made a pun. Patton would be freaking out, as well as Roman Maybe even Virgil would react if the pun had merited such a reaction. What was I saying? Just let me rewin-”  
“On the bright side, as I was saying, I have been able to get much work done. Extraordinary amounts, even. It takes my mind off of being stuck in my room for a few moments. When I am not working, I try to read. The light ahead is flickering more often. I would change it, but I was never really any good at that summoning thing. If I was, I would simply produce more food to have sustenance. Oh, dear. It appears that I have rambled, sorry, recorder. This has been Logan, logging out for Day Three of being locked in my room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O U C H
> 
> I swear I’ll make the chapters longer I’m sorry-


	3. Day Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TEN DAYS
> 
> O U C H

“It has been Ten Days. They have not come yet. Am I useless to them? Do they notice and simply not care? No, Patton is Morality. Of course, he would care. I am getting too dark, and darkness would not help in this situation. On the contrary, it would most likely do more harm than good.”  
“It is Thursday once more, so this is the second week of not checking in with Remus and Deceit. Or Janus, should I say. A few weeks before my inpr- my being trapped in my room he confided in me his name. He may or may not have been dancing with me, with his gloves pulled off and with the glowing green lights summoned by Remus and a slow ballad playing in the background. It is debatable whether he let himself be dipped by me before whispering his name in my ear. It is not certain whether he hugged me tightly with 6-arms afterward, tears glistening on his scales. But that is all debatable, as it is simply my job to make sure that they have an adequate amount of food and to make sure that they are taking care of themselves, Nothing else ever happens, I swear on a life.”  
“ My chips are running out, and I am starting to fear what will happen when they are gone. I was… shameful, and a few days ago I went mad and ate more than I should have of the chips while I may or may not have been crying.”  
“Doesn’t Virgil get summoned by moments of high distress? That was my original hypothesis, but it has been proven to be false. I’ve tried making up outlandish stories, I have tried telling horrifying stories, I looked up pictures of puppies and cats, and I have lied. I have screamed lies, trying desperately to summon one of the others. MY NAME IS JEFFERY… Nothing. “  
“I wonder if Thomas is doing alright. He hasn't summoned me, and even if he did, I don't know if I would be able to join him. But there is always a way to be present in the conversation, so when that time comes, I will be ready. With fear in my heart, this is Logan Sanders, signing out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV you hear me screaming and trying to break down the door
> 
> Also I thought for sure this chapter was longer o o f


	4. Day Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

“It is yet another Thursday. My chips ran out two days ago, and my stomach is an incessant chamber of growling and some hunger pangs. I drink water to fill that void, so I can say that I am extremely well hydrated in the very least.”  
“I have concluded that I am not necessary to the metaphorical light sides. Sure, I may have given facts on numerous occasions, but that never really helped the conversation during the videos or the dinner conversations. I only helped in the way of facts. It does not matter that I helped to quell the fears of Patton and Virgil during the Intrusive thoughts episode. Not to mention I was benched. I was benched, I was benched during a courtroom scenario. And it wasn't by Janus. “  
“ One Thursday as I was simply making sure that they had food and supplies, he may or may not have pulled me close into a many-armed hug, saying that he was sorry that I was benched. It is uncertain whether he explained that in order to help Thomas, he had to play to Pattons’ weaknesses, so he let Patton’s fears lead into the roles. Patton's’ worst fear in that scenario was to be alone without Logic in the situation. “  
“ I have to admit, that helped a little. It made me feel important if that conversation ever really happened. Because, as I have stated many times, I only go every Thursday to make sure that the metaphorical dark sides are doing alright in the literal and not emotional sense in the very least.”  
“ It is very therapeutic to be talking into this recorder. I normally don't get this much talking time in the day. Only on Thursdays. But I get the same response from the other sides. Except on Thursdays. I like that I get to speak in a sort of stream-of-consciousness style. I wonder if this is how it feels to Remus whenever he is just saying his thoughts, not caring if anyone is listening. “  
“ Thomas doesn't listen anymore to me. He stopped as soon as he started to pursue the lifestyle of drama and play-acting. Thomas was going to be great in the world, he was going to make real change, but... Roman took my place at the wheel, and I got put not in the passenger seat, but I got put in the back seat, seated next to the luggage of memories and information storage. “  
“ Which reminds me- I need to look up whether deodorant is poisonous to eat. I mean, Remus does it, and he hasn't died yet.”  
“Wait”  
“ Can sides even die? “  
“ Best not to think about that. Logan Sanders, logging off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A N G S T Y B O I   
> N O


	5. Day Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been 24 days
> 
> Is nobody going to look for him?

“ My light finally went out, and my room is dark now besides my laptop screen. I never thought to keep flashlights in my room, but I am regretting my choices now. I should have been more prepared, should have been more- Sorry. I just caught myself in the mirror. Though dimly lighted, my shirt is far looser than it once was. Upon further investigation, I have been losing a dangerous amount of weight. This is not good, this is not good in the slightest. I shall talk about it so I can attempt to calm myself down. At first, it begins as fat loss, which can be good whenever it is healthily lost by proper diet and exercise, but when it is simply as not eating, it is considered starvation. Water loss is prominent at first, as is the aforementioned fat loss, but that leads to muscle loss and fatigue. I am entering dangerous territory. Even if I did consider eating the deodorant, it has no caloric value and therefore would not help. I am well hydrated, so that is a plus. But I can't work very well now. The words on the bright screen turned down to the lowest brightness and seemed to dance and blur together. I can't even read anymore. All I can do is talk into this recorder, think, or remember Thursdays past. “  
“ One Thursday I was simply checking in with them, making sure that they were well-fed and functioning properly, and I happened to stay just long enough for the entirety of a movie marathon that they were watching. Harry Potter, I believe it was. We may or may not have- No. We cuddled and we fell asleep with all of our limbs or tentacles wrapped around each other. Janus helped clean my glasses afterward, as they had been covered in some sort of slime that I assume was produced by Remus’ tentacles. He smiled at me., and it was beautiful. Patton and Roman smiled all of the time, and their smiles never were this beautiful. Even Remus’ crooked smile, crawling with some sort of insects that I did not care to identify, was more splendid then their smiles combined. “  
“These memories help me stay occupied, stay some semblance of happiness. Why hasn't Janus or Remus come for me yet either? Do they remember me? Was I just as forgettable to them as I was to the light-sides? I have no answers to these queries as of present, but if I ever get out of my room, then I will be extending my Thursday visits to an indefinite period. As in, I will not be returning to the light side mindscape. PATTON HAS RED HAIR. It was worth a try. With terror in my mind, I am logging off. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Logan is speaking in all caps he is lying, if it could not be pried from context clues.  
> Me at myself :MY BOI JUST WANTS JANUS LET HIM HAVE HIM  
> Also me: ;)))


	6. Day Thrity-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been officially a month. That’s not a good sign, is it?

“ It is getting worse. I am losing energy to walk and get the water from my tap every day, and I find myself drifting to sleep at random moments. Since I have been getting no energy from Cellular Respiration, which requires glucose to help produce energy, I have to dave up my energy. I also am finding that I cant look in the mirror anymore. It is simply too exhausting to have to take in the horrors that are occurring. Last time I checked, my hair was growing shaggy and my eyes were sunken behind my glasses. BUT I DON'T NEED GLASSES NEVER HAD. Still nothing. Was it worth the shot? Never mind that. My clothes are very loose. I can feel them sagging and when I do have the energy to move, I have to hold my pants up so they don't fall to the ground. “  
“I have not showered in days, and have not changed clothes in as much time. I don't think these effects happen as quickly as they are occurring in my room in real life, where Thomas is. I wonder how he is doing? The wedding was a few days ago or was at least scheduled to be 3 days ago if the schedule went as planned. ROMAN IS A QUIET PERSON. I can't help with the scheduling anymore. I can't do anything much anymore. I am useless. Invaluable. “  
“But Janus helped me accept who I am, although he talked in the most confusing of ways. But he helped me see that even though I was bigger than the others, that I was still not only a good person, but I was Invaluable. But there's a different meaning of that word to me. Invaluable, as in without value. Janus made me feel complete and he made me feel like I belonged in the Thomas-sphere even as everything fell apart around me. VIRGIL HAS CHEAP HEADPHONES. And now I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Though I am thinner, it is the wrong way and I look wrong and horrible and… dying. Can a side die? If they did die, would they respawn in the mindscape or back in their room, like an endless, literal Sisyphean nightmare? My head is hurting. So is my stomach. Everything hurts so bad. No one is coming for me, I know that. But I can't simply die. What would happen to Thomas, what would-Enough of that. This is Logan Sanders, signing out. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR I THOUGHT I WROTE THE CHAPTERS LONGER IM SORRY THEY DO GET LONGER I SWEAR—
> 
> Also can you guys tell that every chapter takes place on one of his beloved Thursdays?  
> Or that the new episode takes place on a Thursday in that universe in this essay I will-


	7. Day Thirty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edyvygvyvgybjnin

“I'm going to die. I'm going to die and Thomas will be without Logic. I last got water yesterday, but I have been rationing it because the functions of my legs have seemed to shut down. THEY WORK PERFECTLY. Ah. Still no help. I am slumped up against my bed, and I have dragged my computer down with me even though I know that I will not be able to use it. Is it possible that the effects of starvation are amplified in my room? Could it be because this room is rational and is supposed to amplify rational thought and since I have known the effects that are supposed to be happening I have made them occur myself with my constant worrying? Am I the cause of my constant pain? I HATE JANUS.   
I don't know why I keep on thinking that that is going to work. Someone said that only a fool keeps on trying the same thing and expect a different result. I am a fool.   
“As I have reviewed my tapes, I have learned that I was not going to the metaphorical dark sides just to check upon them. I was going because- apparently, I was going because I cared. I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS. I have so many feelings, and I just want to close my eyes and when I open them again, for Janus to here, whispering sweet little nothings and scary truths into my ears. His hair was soft. It was always so soft when I raked my fingers through his hair.”   
“I wonder what conditioner he used. It smelled of raspberries. Ah. Raspberries. They were never my particular favorite before smelling Janus’ conditioner, but the smell and the flavor grew on me. Oh, I am so hungry. I AM GOING TO LIVE. I am going to die, alone. It is inevitable if sides can die then that is what is going to happen to me. I have been forgotten, and that, of course, is the first step of dying. Truly dying, that is. “  
“ Is Janus taking care of himself? Is he taking care of Remus and making sure that he takes breaks from his creative work? Does it even matter anymore? Does anything matter? I still have no answers. Answers are as fictional as the play-acting that Roman does. I am flickering in and out of sleep, and I want to sleep so bad. It hurts to stay awake, but I shall attempt to remain awake not for myself, but Thomas. “  
“Is Thomas okay? I am not one to notice the emotional state of him, but I can feel the anxiousness around start to invade my already painfully anxious thoughts. If he is in emotional turmoil, then that means that he is going to record his interactions with the sides soon. It always goes like this. If I am summoned, maybe I can join them. No, I can't have any more hope or I will lose all of it. If I am summoned I will still be present, in the stream of the subconscious. I need to find a way to be more participating in the conversation. I had thought so long ago as to how to participate. Give me a seco-”  
“I will be able to participate, but it will be difficult to maintain for long. This is Logan Sanders, logging off with a semblance of hope. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I put the last chapters notes on the wrong chapter oop


	8. Day Forty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s here the dreaded day is here it’s here the dreaded day is here it’s here the dreaded day is here it’s here the dreaded-

“ I am being summoned. It's a familiar tug at my navel, trying to drag me up into the conversation but it won't let me go. So I shall enact my plan. I just need to go back to remember it. I can barely think, my mind is muddled, and- what was I doing? “  
“Yes, that's right. I need to go back and remember.”  
Logan listened to the recordings, legs limp, and arms struggling to move. He can barely even control the small rectangular recorder to listen back to the tapes. His arm muscles spasming, wasting the limited energy that they have. With every twitch of the muscle, he winced, that sunken face of his contorting into painful expressions.  
How he was still alive, he didn't know. The water had run out several days ago, and he couldn't move his legs to get more. And then he found the thought to take part in the conversation, amusing from days gone by. With some effort, he lifts his computer that is somehow still filled to the brim with power and opens it, clicking on a file that he had created long ago. A backdoor, of sorts. And he slowly brought his hand not clutching the recorder to his mouth, and he painstakingly pulled the cap off of his middle finger off, revealing a plug-in port that he was formed with. It was partly the reason that Roman called him a robot. He plugged his finger into the computer, feeling the slow pull of his consciousness to the electricity emanating from the laptop. He clicked to start the program and closed his eyes.  
He could see Thomas and Patton and Roman in the living room in their corporeal forms, and they were arguing in the means of Leslie Odom Jr. And since it was his job to intervene and provide the facts, regardless of how much he just wanted to lay down and sleep.  
“It would be,” he said, voice being digitized and relayed not only through a monotone voice, but also as words on the screen.  
“Jesus Christ Superstar what is that??” Roman exclaimed as he popped onto the screen, as all three of them took up surprised and defensive positions.  
“It's just me, Logan. I've taken this form because I didn't want to be too invasive.” Logan remarked, looking at the expressions of those around to see if they had any response if they had any sign of noticing that he had been gone for so long. But there was nothing and no reaction from any of them. So he explained that he would not be spending too much energy on this matter because he didn't need to. But he could not expend too much energy anyway, but he did not wish to alarm his host. If there was any way to actively communicate with Roman and Patton with Thomas gone he would have to take it, but that seldom occurred during videos, as Thomas was always there.  
The first clear sign of being ignored was when he had mistakenly added the buttons, where he had mistakenly given them a choice in the matter of his facts. When Roman pushed the ‘Ignorant’ button, Logan stopped, slightly reeling. He had been gone for so long and they didn't realize and now they were back to their old forms of ignoring him? He was also reeling because it was much too bright in that room. Had it always been that bright? Had the lights always been painful to look at and he just hadn't noticed?  
Talking to the group was harder than talking to the recorder, and it hurt more. So he let them read the facts for themselves as he regained his composure and tried to force himself to stop being lightheaded. But he smiled during the endeavor of the video-game analogy. He got to see Janus, though he was extremely pixelated and in the form of a reptile. But they dropped that version of Janus into the figurative pit of lava, so when he popped up with Patton he accidentally backed up too much, effectively whacking Patton in the face.  
But when he was talking about Frederich Nietzsche, something appeared not by his doing in a yellow text box. Though a little disconcerting, he continued speaking until Patton clicked the text box, and Logan got hooked away by a black shepherds crook. He had seen this crook before; in Janus’ room. He involuntarily smiled as he was dragged into a gray subspace of the subconscious, and he was laying on his back on the ground, the text box holding him up enough to talk to the others gone, and his functions were once again limited. Though he was still literally in his room, the projection of himself that he was using to talk to Thomas was in the subconsciousness  
Suddenly Janus was standing over him, a scowl on his face.  
“You have the gall- no, the audacity- to pretend that nothing ever happened between us. You disappear for 2 months, not visiting me or Remus. You abandoned us, and you-you look sick. Logan are you-” Logan, with the rest of the strength that he had, pulls Janus down by his crook, kissing him with as much passion as his weakened state could take. Janus froze for a moment on top of him but sank into the kiss, anger forgotten.  
Logan was enveloped in the warmth of Janus and realized that he had been freezing for longer than he could know. And he could feel both of their tears mixing and streaming down both of their faces. Logan stayed in this moment for as long as he could before he could no more. Janus had to pull away. Logan’s eyes were closed, and he had to force them open.  
“ I’m so sorry, Janus. I’m not even here- Janus you have to help me-” Logan suddenly tried to sit up in a move of desperation, trying to cling to Janus’ arms, “I’m locked in my room right now and I am going to die please help me-” Janus’ eyes widened with fear as he pulled Logan close to his chest, suddenly feeling how boney he was and how frail he looked.  
“Logan- I can’t get to your room. I can’t get to your room unless Thomas accepts me and we both know that he won’t- that Patton won’t- Logan. I can’t do this -I'm scared- what if they think that I am lying when I am only trying to help? Please, Logan, I am scar-”  
“It's okay. You’re not lying to me right now. Go help Thomas please. That is your priority. If you can help me or alert anyone else please do.”  
“It's going to be okay Logan-”  
“Falsehood. Go help Thomas, now. I love you, Janus.” Logan said words started to slur together. Janus stiffened at those words, before sinking into one final hug with Logan.  
“I will make sure you are okay, because of I-”  
“Go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have the Loceit finally. As a treat.
> 
> ALSO I DID SAY IT WOULD BE LONGER SO HA


	9. Day a Forty-Five and a Half

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning the writing style will degrade from this point forward as it was 2 in the morning

“ It has been so long, but I am staying in the gray area of the subconsciousness until I gain enough energy to make myself go back to the hellish prison of a room. But Janus knows now, and I know that he will help me. Of course, there is the issue of him being accepted to be granted passage into the light-side of the mindscape, but I’m certain that he will overcome it. “  
“He was so warm, but he is usually so cold to me. Usually, I needed to warm him up, but he was burning hot to me. Am I already dead? Am I already a corpse that is barely animated, barely able to hang onto the last drop of life that I still have, every movement seeping the energy out of me. I said I loved him. It is true. I don't know for certain what he was going to say, and I had to stop him. I want him to tell me when he is certain, and not when I am pressuring him to say it by saying it myself. But I know that I love him. Many listenings to Thursday's past stories have shown me that I am very much in love with Janus. And that hurts more than my physical pain. It is all-consuming, but so is the fear and panic.”  
“I am going to die. It doesn't scare me as much. I have been saying this fact- not factoid, fact. I've been saying this fact for weeks, and this is the first time that it does not actively scare me. As long as Thomas has Janus, he will be fine. If I were to be replaced, I’d want it to be by him. As I am saying this, my eyes are closed. I am falling asleep, but I feel me being summoned once more, by Janus’ comforting touch, nudging me to open my eyes. I need to help him.”  
Logan stopped his recording and dragged himself to the abandoned text box that seemed so far away, but he made it and crawled into it, leaning against the edges. And when his text box opened up the vision of the four in that room, Janus looked at Logan fondly, after being half-scared to death by the text box showing up. And Logan said some things that even he couldn't remember, but he knew that they were in support of Janus. What even did he say? Thoughtless nothing or conclusive arguments. He didn't know. But as soon as his work was done, he looked at Janus with pixelated eyes in desperation before disappearing back into his room, jolting back to his dismal reality.   
His movements were even more limited now, only to press the recording button or to sleep. And he wanted to sleep so badly, his eyes almost being forced shut. But he pressed the button and started to speak for the last time.  
“ I hope that you did it, Janus. I hope that you were accepted by Thomas. But I would still love you if you weren’t. I would still love you even as I am going to die, on this Forty-Fifth day of my imprisonment. Or later, if sides can’t die. This would be such an interesting experiment, though the ethics are questionable-”  
Never mind that. Janus, I-” And Logan passed out, pressing the button in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here. Have some Logan angst. As a treat.


	10. Day Forty-Five and Three-Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aww yeah baby you do it-  
> Oh no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus is very Remusy and very.. affectionate to Virgil in this chapter. You have been warned

Janus had been accepted, with some casualties. He actively insulted not only Roman but Remus as well. He was sure that he was going to receive the brunt of the consequences from Roman, but Remus was a wild card, and-  
What was he doing? He needed to go find Logan- He summoned Virgil, and when a pair popped up vigorously making out, Janus groaned.  
“Is this where you two have been during the whole frogscapade?” He asked, looking away from the very obvious making out occurring next to him. Virgil paused, looking at Janus.  
“Not the whole time. Remus was also painting my nails a sort of opalescent-”  
“This is the most relevant thing to be talking about right now, so I need you to take me to Logan’s room.” Virgil's eyebrows raised, the silver stud drastically shifting positions.  
“Did Thomas accept you in the past few minutes? Is that why he was freaking out?” Virgil asked, somehow looking bored as Remus was practically licking his face.   
“Did you say frogscapade? Did Patton have an atomic meltdown? Was there any blood?” Remus asked excitedly, pausing his slobbering over Virgil to entertain the idea.  
“Why Remus, of course, there was blood. This is Morality we are talking about, so blood is a given. No! This doesn't matter! Virgil, take me to Logan’s room.” Janus ordered, getting back on track. Virgil stuck out his tongue, and Remus licked that too.   
“Why should I? You are accepted, right? Shouldn't you be able to just sink to his room?” Janus’ face went slack, remember that he was accepted and could do that.  
“ Right. I totally remembered that. Come with me anyways. I am not worried about Logan in the slightest.” His eyes were frantic with worry, and Remus stopped his licking to whisper something in Virgil’s ear. Virgil nods.  
“All right. But Remus is coming too. If you’re that worried about Lo then you’ll need all the help you can get. I haven't seen Lo in forever. I think I made him mad or something and he has been avoiding me or something. Which of course fills me with existential dread and self-loathing, so it would be nice for it to be cleared up.” With that Virgil sunk out, grasping tightly to Remus as if scared that he would be lost if his grip was any looser.   
And Janus sank out as well, focusing on thoughts of his beloved Logic, his beloved Logan. The thick-rimmed glasses that he always had to remind Logan to clean. His smile, when Janus could coax it out of him, was the most beautiful thing that he has ever seen. And he rose just in front of a dark blue door, small cracks spiraling from the knob. The door looked as if it had been rammed countless times and was on its last legs. But the most noticeable, and the most worrying thing was the sound of soft sobs coming from inside the room.  
Janus tried to turn the knob, but it was locked. He kept on trying to jiggle it, kept on trying to make it unlock with his gloved hands, but that wasn't working so he peeled off his gloves, all of them. 6 gloves littered the ground as he tried to gain leverage and tried to open the door, frantic and scared. And then he felt Virgil's hand on one of his shoulders, and he turned, tears streaking down his face. And Virgil, in turn, turned to Remus, who was vibrating at violent speeds.  
“Remus- and I will never ask you this again, so make good use of it- ram into this door and break it.” And Remus’ whole face lit up, his mustache framing a jagged but exhilarated smile. He backed up several feet, and let his tentacles unravel from his back, and he sprinted at an ungodly speed, screaming as he changed towards that door. And under his extreme force, the door buckled and shattered, the wooden shards flying everywhere. But the door was unlocked. Or, to be more accurate, it was gone.   
And Logan was there, slumped against the bed, tears violently streaming down his sunken features, his eyes dull and somehow shiny. He seemed to be deflated as if he had been an inflatable and had gotten a hole and was slowly leaking out air and slowly becoming just a pile of fabric on the ground. Did Logan even register the trio at his door? He must have, for his arm slightly twitched in a waving motion.   
As Janus took this all in, his heart sank lower and lower in his chest, until he wasn't even sure that his heart was still in his body. It was much worse than what he thought it was going to be. He could hear Virgil begin to breathe faster and faster, as he began to hyperventilate as he saw the shell of Logan on the floor. Remus was occupied with helping Virgil, giving him the breathing pattern so that he would not fall into a panic attack. And Remus, with a face even whiter than normal, made Virgil sink out, forcing the hyperventilating side out of the room and into his own. Virgil having a panic attack was bad, but it would be worse if he stayed here with Logan right in front of him.   
“Logan…” Janus muttered, sinking to his knees to see Logan better. Logan’s mouth twitched slightly into a smile.  
“Hey, Janus. Good job on getting accep-”  
“ Shut up Logan. I am going to kill the light sides for you. Would you like me to push them down the stairs? Or perhaps I could skin them and write stories on them and give them to you for Christmas, or-”  
“ It's okay, Remus. I just need some water, please. And food. Please, Remus.” Logan said, voice faltering and growing softer. Remus snaps out of his dark thoughts and plans of what he was going to do to Patton and Roman, and he begins to summon bottles upon bottles of water and summons whatever food he could think of, the items slowly starting to pile up at his feet. Chips, apples, water bottles, bags of cookies, pretzels, a box of chicken nuggets, fries, bacon, haggis, frog legs; the food just kept coming.   
Janus grabbed a water bottle, opening it and placing it to Logan’s lips, and helped him to drink the entire bottle, just pouring it down his throat. Logan cleared his throat after the water and wordlessly said thank you. Then he grabbed one of Janus’ hands, and Janus could feel a small rectangular box being pressed into his hand. Janus takes it and presses one of the buttons, and the date reads March 17. Forty-five days earlier. Janus presses the button, and Logan’s voice begins to play.  
“It is 6:32 p.m, and I have just attempted to sink out of my room. It did not work, so I shall try again,” After a few seconds, more words begin spilling out of it, “My door is jammed, and there are no other means of escape from my room. There are no windows, only the comfort of the light overhead that occasionally flickers. Presumably, my door will be able to be unlocked or unjammed from the other side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OUCH THE LOGS THE LOGS OH CRAP THE LOGS


	11. Day Forty-Five and Seven-Eighths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE LOGS OH FRICK THE LOGS  
> Also Patton and Roman show up

And as Remus and Janus started to help him and force him to eat enough, the box played in the background, the lamentations of Logan through those days an ever-looming background noise.  
“Which reminds me- I need to look up whether deodorant is poisonous to eat. I mean, Remus does it, and he hasn't died yet.”  
“Wait”  
“ Can sides even die? “ Janus and Remus both stiffened at that, the question asked so early on in the tapes very prominent to the situation that they were in now. Logan refused to eat much, claiming that he felt sick, and he vomited a few moments later, and they had to hurriedly turn him over so he would not choke on his vomit. The tapes continued to play as they sat him up and as they cleaned him up.  
“These memories help me stay occupied, stay some semblance of happiness. Why hasn't Janus or Remus come for me yet either? Do they remember me? Was I just as forgettable to them as I was to the light-sides? I have no answers to these queries as of present, but if I ever get out of my room, then I will be extending my Thursday visits to an indefinite period. As in, I will not be returning to the light side mindscape. “ Tears were streaming down all three of their faces, and Logan closed his eyes as Remus summoned new, smaller clothes for the exhausted Logan. He was shaking, whether it be from the cold or the sobs racking his body. But they dressed him in warmer clothes that would fit nonetheless, and they summoned a blanket and were cuddling Logan, with Janus pressing kisses to Logan’s forehead and Remus intermittently sinking out to be with Virgil and to reassure the panicking purple-adorned side that Logan was going to be alright.  
When Virgil finally came, they were day thirty-one.  
“ Janus made me feel complete and he made me feel like I belonged in the Thomas-sphere even as everything fell apart around me. VIRGIL HAS CHEAP HEADPHONES. And now I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Though I am thinner, it is the wrong way and I look wrong and horrible and… dying. Can a side die? If they did die, would they respawn in the mindscape or back in their room, like an endless, literal Sisyphean nightmare? My head is hurting. So is my stomach. Everything hurts so bad. No one is coming for me, I know that. But I can't simply die. What would happen to Thomas, what would-”   
“Those headphones were not cheap,” Virgil commented, trying to make light of the situation that they were in. The way they have all curled up next to the fragile and shaking Logan, trying to help him but not able to help him in the ways that he had needed for the past months. Trying to make light of all the tears that had been shed, trying to make light of whatever had trapped Logan in here with no way for help.   
“I am going to die, alone. It is inevitable if sides can die then that is what is going to happen to me. I have been forgotten, and that, of course, is the first step of dying. Truly dying, that is. “  
“ Is Janus taking care of himself? Is he taking care of Remus and making sure that he takes breaks from his creative work? Does it even matter anymore? Does anything matter? I still have no answers. Answers are as fictional as the play-acting that Roman does. I am flickering in and out of sleep, and I want to sleep so bad. It hurts to stay awake, but I shall attempt to remain awake not for myself, but Thomas. “  
And at this, Janus stood up, a violent tilt in his gaze. His hands were curled up into fists, and he stormed out of the room, calling behind him,   
“I’m going to have a little chat with Roman and Patton. Take care of Logan, please.” The two nodded their affirmations, cuddling in closer with Logan, who was nodding off again.  
And he took a deep breath, and he sunk into the light commons, where he should be accepted now. Patton was in the kitchen, cooking something. The smell was intoxicating and filled him with rage. If Logan had food, then he wouldn't be in this situation.  
“PATTON. Patton. I need to speak to both you and Roman if you would.” Janus said, trying to keep his cool before the inevitable explosion that would be occurring in the following conversation. Patton turned his head, smiling.  
“Of course, kiddo. Oh! I should probably call you Janus now. Is Jan okay, Jan?” he asked, raising his hand in the summoning motion, stepping away from his simmering food. Roman rose, a huffy look on his face.  
“Hey, Janice. Did you use curlers in your hair? Because you’re a middle-school librarian? Get it? Argh, never mind.” He said, starting his sentence triumphant before slowly fading into annoyance.  
“Now, Roman, Jan wants to have a conversation with us. You don't have to be so mean, my dashing prince.”   
“Do I have to?”  
“Yes, dear. So, Jan- what did you want to talk to us about.” Janus took a deep breath, ready to let out a rage-fueled rant that was all coming together in his mind when Patton giggled.  
“Oh, did you find Logan?” He asked innocently, a smile on his face. All the words that Janus knew suddenly disappeared. He stood agape, tears pricking his horrified eyes.  
“What?”  
“ Now, Janus, did you think that I wouldn't notice him gone?”  
“Yeah, that Debby-Downer is noticeable in any room that he is in. He just has such a big presence, eh? Eh? Oh, never mind. You wouldn't get it.” Roman waved disdainfully, and Janus blinked several times, willing the furious tears to go away.  
“You knew that Logan was there- that he was stuck- and you did nothing about it?” He asked voice choking up. Patton nods with a sort of chipper energy you only find at a children’s birthday party.  
“Jan, who do you think locked him in there?”


	12. Day Forty-Five and Fifteen-Sixteenths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

And that was when Janus lunged for Patton’s throat, screaming in rage. But he was stopped in midair, suddenly gaping. He coughed, and a fountain of blood gushed out of his mouth. Roman had a sword, and he knew how to use it. Patton stroked the scaley side of his face, smiling sadly.  
“ I just wanted to help him. He never wanted to participate in our outings, and he always seemed like he was resenting us for that. So we gave him the choice to not come to our outings.” He said, his voice filled with compassion. Janus could only blink his eyes, tears dripping almost as much as the blood dripping from his mouth. The blood was blossoming on his capulet on his right side of his chest, the blood darkening the already dark cloth. Roman delicately pulled the sword out, his expression not even slightly shifting as the blood spurted on his face. 

“And he used to be so upset about how he looked. He was a damsel in distress, and Patton and I were the knights about to make him feel better about himself. He did lose the weight, right? So no harm, no foul. And I just defeated the dragon trying to steal away the damsel.” He said with a grin, but Patton shook his head, grabbing one of Janus’ bare hands and pressing it tight against the wound. Janus gasped in pain, the wound screaming under the touch. 

“Now, Roman. Jan is our friend now. We don't kill our friends without good reason.”

“He lunged at you-”

“He’s just confused. Today was a big day for him, and he was even more confused by Logan. Gosh, Roman, I get confused all the time about all sorts of things. But thank you, kiddo, for thinking to save me,” Patton beamed at Roman, who looked away with a blush. But Patton returned his attention to Janus, who was starting to shake, “Now kiddo, apply pressure and make sure that you didn't get fully impaled. That would be a pickle to solve. Go on, go to your room. And we’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow!” Patton said cheerily and began to push Janus down to his room, but Janus switched gears as best as he could back to Logan’s room, where he popped up by the door and stumbled back into the room. 

“Oh, hey Janus. Logan ate a bit more and- Janus? CRAP--REMUS HELP ME--OH NO--OH NO--” Virgil rushed over to Janus, trying to remain calm but failing miserably. Remus sprung up, waking Logan from his peaceful slumber, and Remus summoned gauze and bandages and rubbing alcohol. Logan looked around dazedly, but his eyes seemed to focus and he saw Virgil and Remus slowly lowering Janus to the ground, and he heard them shouting at each other to do things, but there was no order and only chaos and- He had to help. With shaking limbs, he tried to stand up, but he was still too weak. He had some energy, at least, but it wasn't enough. He was useless in this situation and he needed to help somehow and-

“You need to get him out of this room, it makes things too real. Take him to the imagination so he doesn't get worse.”  
Logan ordered, some semblance of Logic overcoming him.

“But-”

“Leave please.” And with all of the energy he could muster, using the rest of the energy he had, he pushed them all out, despite their protests. He was admittedly better at pushing people away- and forcing people out- then Patton. And he was all alone again. But he was okay with that, for now at least. Janus was going to be fine, he was going to be fine, everything was going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unless there is a sadistic author who needs more angst then no you’re not going to be fine


	13. Day Forty-Five and

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the current events. Y’know, how linear time works.

Janus was fine, he was going to be fine. It was a mantra that he lulled himself to sleep with. But after a few minutes of closing his eyes, there were thumps, akin to loud footsteps. He blearily opened his eyes, and saw two figures leaning over him. 

“Jeez, Pat. He looks dreadful. Are you sure this is helping him?”

“Now, Roman, you’ve got to trust me. I know that I was… a little confused during the video earlier-”

“You transformed into a scaley fiend, Pat. A scaLEY FIEND, Pat.”

“Mmmm, granted, but this isn't hurting anybody like a trolley would, and it is going to help Logan in the long run. It’s like… getting a shot. It hurts for a second, sure, but before you know it you are great and happy and amazing and not sick anymore. We just need to continue to help him a little bit more and- Janus is a better person now, but I still don't fully trust that kiddo.”

“So you want us to steal Logan away? That is the right thing to do? In a moral sense, at least? Because it doesn't sound-”

“Roman! Just shut up and pick him up.” Patton snapped, and Logan’s eyes widened and he struggled to get up. He actually got partially up before Roman’s arms hugged tightly around him and slung him over his shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay, Logan.” He muttered into Logan's ear, attempting to comfort the weakly thrashing side. 

“Put me down rigHT NOW ROMAN! REMUS!!! VIRGIL!! SOMEONE!!” Logan screamed, still trying to get away. 

“Shhhh, Logan. You’re okay now. You are going to get even better. Not only your body, but your mind. It’s been poisoned, kiddo. Every Thursday you- you disappeared and we didn't know where you were!” Patton said, swooping in and grabbing Logan by his jaw, forcing Logan to look at him in his deep blue eyes, “And when we found out, we were heartbroken.”

“I wouldn't say heartbroken-”

“Shut up, Roman. Come on, let's go. You’ve done enough damage for today, dear.”

“Yes Patton.”

“Now, follow me, my dashing prince.” Patton commanded, letting go of Logan’s jaw. Logan could scream. He could, but it would be a waste of energy. He had told the others to go to the imagination to help Janus recover, so there would be no way for them to hear, or help. Plus Roman had a sword, and has shown that he was very capable of using it. So he kept his mouth shut as he was unwillingly carried over Roman’s shoulder. 

In his hand was the recorder, and he silently pressed the button, clutching it in his hand tightly.

Xxxxxx

“How you feeling, Janus?” Vigil asked softly, gripping Jnaus’ hand tightly as Remus worked away at trying to heal him. Remus’ imagination- and in turn, his intrusive thoughts, was more amplified here, so he had to be extremely focused less everything go… horribly wrong. Janus’s winced at Remus’ touch, but tried to give Virgil a smile.

“Never been better, Vee.” He lied. Virgil smiled sadly back at him.

“At the expense of sounding too much like Logan, Falsehood.”

“I really don't want Jan to end up with too many spleens when I am done with him, so shut up.” Remus snapped, eyes not leaving the wound slowly starting to melt back together, the skin and blood and guts being sucked back in like bloody slugs. 

“How did talking to Pat and Ro go? They must have been worried sick about Logan.” Virgil whispered, slightly quieter so Remus wouldn't get upset again. And, you know, to ensure that Janus didn't wind up with an extra arm sprouting out of his chest. Six were enough. He would be unstoppable with seven. Virgil chuckled in spite of himself. But then he caught a glimpse of Janus’ face, grave and.. Scared.

“Virgil, how do you think I got impaled?”

“Uh, I mean, I don’t know. It could have been anything, but-” Virgil trailed off, seeing a spark of anger ignite in Janus’ eyes.

“Roman. He stabbed me.” Janus spat out, and Remus glared at him to stop moving. Virgil froze, his heart dropping into his stomach.

“No. I mean, no. It must have been an accident. I- I mean, you said that you were accepted and- it must have been an accident. You’ve seen how Roman swings his sword around like that, right Remus?” Virgil began to frantically ask, starting to spiral.

“Roman is capable of anything. He was always the brave one. Plus, this is not a stab-and-slash. More like kabobbing a person and baking them alive! Oh the smell would be-”

“OW! Remus!” Janus cried out, skin starting to sizzle and smoke from under Remus’ touch. Remus winced.

“Oof. Sorry about that. Stop distracting me, idiots!” 

“Sorry, babe. Janus, tell me if it was an accident. It had to be- Roman is actually being nicer now and Patton- I don't think Patton has a single bad bone in his body.” Virgil trailed off once more, waiting for Janus’ response.

“You guys weren’t there. For the video, I mean. Patton is seriously struggling and I think that he needs help. He needs to sort some things out and-”

“You haven't answered my question, Janus.” Virgil said, his voice starting to amplify. A common intimidation tactic used by Virgil.

“Vee, I mean, I- Patton did it. He did it all. I don't know what happened to him after the callback courtroom and I think that I broke him, Vee. That is the only explanation as to why he… Why he-”

“Why he what, Dee?” Virgil asked, referring back to his old nickname of Janus for before he revealed his name. 

“Virgil, baby, you are a lovable and sexy idiot. You are like a- wait, no, I cannot say that or the wound will- Virgil, he is obviously saying that it was all Patton and Roman’s fault that everybody is in the predicament that they are in now. Like how Jan is bleeding buckets of blood and how-- FRICK-” Remus cried out, literal buckets of blood somehow seeping out of the closing wound. 

Janus groaned in pain. Virgil did too, his stomach tying itself tightly into knots around his heart already down there.

“No. That’s not true. You’re lying- you’re both lying! They wouldn't do that. Never never never. You guys are lying, you guys are lying, you guys are lying, lying, lying, lyING!” Virgil screamed out, hands covering his ears. The distorted voice made Remus jump, and Janus yelped in pain.

“Vee- its okay it-” He strained, but Virgil forced a hand to his mouth.

“SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!! THEY WOULDN”T DO THAT!!! I’M LEAVING!! REMUS I LOVE YOU BUT I’M LEAVING BECAUSE YOU CAN”T LIE TO ME!! YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T YOU-” Virgil kept yelling as he sank out, and then Remus and Janus were left alone with his words hanging in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for typos I am very tired..


	14. Day Forty Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Logan have a talk about a vegetable, featuring Patton

“Come on, Logan. Just eat the brussel sprouts. They’re good for you.” Roman promised, but Logan just dirty-looked him. 

“If you take off my handcuffs, I will eat that disgusting food.”Roman sucked in a long breath, shaking his head.

“Sorry, man, but that's a no go. Patty-Cake said that we can help you out, and that this was the only way. So just eat the brussel sprouts.”

“No. Also, from an objective standpoint, Patton is clearly using you and you are akin to a brainwashed cult member. I have lasted a lot longer without food then you have, sir. So just uncuff me. Now, please.” Logan said, but he was clearly eyeing the brussel sprouts. 

He shook his head, firm in his statement. Roman sighed, dramatically flopping onto the chair next to Logan.

“Teach, I know you hate me right now, but I just want what's best for you. And I am usually… less than kind to you. But Patton usually knows what is best. He has to; he is Morality. And he says to eat the brussel sprouts, so please eat them.”

“No. If you were going to try to sway me to listen to you, I wouldn't use such a horrifying food choice. At least try something more appealing then-” Logan stopped, his mouth immediately starting to water. Roman had unceremoniously switched out the brussel sprouts for a jar of Logan’s Berry’s Crofters Jam, “You didn't.”

“Yes. Yes I did.” Roman said with a smirk, summoning a spoon and popping open the lid, letting the smell overwash Logan.

“You-you cannot sway me with the decedent spread. You cannot tempt me with- you cannot tempt me with that- give it to me.” Roman grinned in triumph, and started to spoon out a bite, but Logan sputtered.” You cannot expect me to let you spoon feed me. I rescind my statement of compliance.”

“Too late! Patton should be getting back soon and I don't want him to see that I let you have something so sugary.” Roman continued, and waited for Logan to open his mouth. Logan pursed it shut, and Roman frowned a bit.

“Come on, Logan. Say, what's even in Crofters?”

“Well there is Blackberry and-mrrph!” Logan had stupidly opened his mouth to answer the question and Roman had shoved the spoonful into Logan’s mouth, the sugary goodness coating Logan’s teeth and tongue. Logan, caught up in a moment of weakness, hastily swallowed it, involuntary smiling.

After the fact he looked away from Roman, refusing to look at his smug face.

“That wasn’t so bad, right? Come on, have another-”

“Roman! I’m back! You wouldn't believe how much good a bit of nostalgia can do for the mind. Quite refreshing, actually.” Patton called, and Roman switched out the jam for a plate of brussel sprouts  
in a panic. 

“Uh hey Patton! Did you… look at some memories? Some valiant fights from the past?”

“Of course, kiddo! It was really good! Much better than the last time I looked at those pesky memories. How is Logan?”

“I am fine, though you did not direct that question to me. Let me go.” Logan ordered, expression as stone. Patton giggled, waving his hand dismissively.

“In a bit, kiddo. I just have a few more things to do and I’ll let you out of there. Roman, did Logan eat?”

“Yes, dear. Just a little bit of brussel sprouts. I wouldn't have expected him to eat any more of this fiendish fruit.”

“Brussel sprouts are not fruit. They are actually a vegetable, in the mustard family, actually, and-”

“Aww, Roman. He should have eaten more. It’s healthy for him, ya’ know. Anyways, get him to eat some more. I have business. Oh, and can you open the Imagination for me? Thanks dear.” 

“Wait, why do you need to go to the Imagina-”

“Like I said: I have business. Now, after I’m back, maybe I’ll let you uncuff him.”

“I am right here, Patton. Don't talk like I’m not.”

“Thank you Roman, my dashing prince. I’ll be back faster than you can imagine- Oh! I made a pun!” Patton walked off laughing, going through the door that Roman conjured up. 

When he was gone, Roman turned back to Logan, a squeamish look on his face.

“This… This can’t be right. Patton is good, but he keeps on doing… Bad things. So does that mean that Patton is… bad?” Roman struggled to put out the words, and Logan noticed the opportunity.

“Actions speak louder than words, Roman. And you and Patton’s actions have been to lock me in a room for two months and then subsequently handcuff me to a chair and try to force me to eat a disgusting vegetable. What do you think that makes you in a moral sense?”

“Bad…”

“Exactly. But doing bad things does not necessarily make you a bad person, as long as you rectify it. You can fix the mess you helped to make- you just need to uncuff me. Uncuff me, Roman.” Logan asked, almost begging. Roman expression worsened, figurative storms brewing in his eyes. 

“So I should just… uncuff you?” He asked, eyeing the cuffs. Logan nodded, leaning towards Roman as far as he could with the cuffs on his hands.

“Yes, Roman. Do it.” Logan commanded, voice hushed.

“Okay…” Roman said hesitantly, and snapped off the cuffs with a flick of his hands. Logan rubbed his hands, unclenching his hand around the recorder with some difficulty to stop the recording. Roman stared dumbfoundedly at it.

“What is that, Logan?” Roman asked, And Logan shrugged, stating to rub his raw wrists.

“A recorder.” Logan said warily, stomach dropping.

“So were you- are you going to use it against Patton and I?” he asked, fear growing in his eyes. Logan’s widened and he clamped his hand shut around the recorder once more.

“I hadn't thought of that, but yes, I suppose that I would have used it against you, but I am going to use it against Patton.” He stated, but made sure to back a few feet away from Roman in case he did anything.

“If Thomas didn't think that I was the villian before, he is going to think that I am now,” He said solemnly, but nodded, “but I suppose that it is a necessary evil to make sure that you- and Thomas- are safe. From Patton and I. But before we do that, we need to go make sure whatever Patton was going to do is not completed.” He said, and reconjured up the door. 

Logan sighed in relief, unclenching the recorder and putting it in his pocket.

“Thank you, Roman. This means alot to me.” He said, putting one of his bony hands on Roman’s shoulder, “It really does.”

Roman swelled a little at that, his smile returning to his face, though significantly less wide than it used to be.

“Let’s go stop Patton.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww yeah Roman be a good baby now


	15. Screw Linear Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagination time, featuring a smiling boy

Patton gleefully skipped through the Imagination, looking around at the perfectly green trees and the deer lazily lying down in the grass. But he strolled past all of that, crossing a divide marked by wilting flowers and slightly-yellow tinted grass. Where the only deer to be seen were just yellowing skulls, splattered with the fading colors of blood.

“Remus! Janus! Where are you?” He called out in a sing-song voice, his smile all-too wide. He stuck his hand out, feeling around for their presences, and he just barely could feel them somewhere in Remus’ land. And he grasped at those tendrils of their presences, and securely began to drag them from where ever they were. 

Patton could feel them struggling to stay where they were, but he kept a better grip on them then he did earlier with Janus. If only Janus had let him shove him into his room. He would have been safe there. Probably. 

With a yank, he summoned them to where he stood, and they unwillingly rose up, jarred. Remus turned to Patton with a horrifyingly menacing smile.

“Oh good. I thought that I would have to find you and rip out your kneecaps and blend them into a smoothie and feed it to your bleeding out shell of a body!” Remus shouted. and Janus squeezed his eyes shut so he would not have to see whatever would happen. 

But Patton wasn't screaming. He wasn't even saying anything. He just continued to smile. Janus opened his eyes again, still laying on the ground recovering from, you know. Being stabbed and all that. Patton was just fine; he had not been dismembered by Remus’ thoughts. Remus was scowling in confusion.

“Bees flying out of your mouth. A cat crawling out of your ribcage. TINY GNOMES CLAWING TO ESCAPE FROM YOUR DISMEMBERED BODY!!!” Remus cried, trying to force the ideas onto Patton and to make him suffer.

“WHY AREN'T YOU SUFFERING?” He cried, hands digging through his hair and gripping at his head hard enough to draw blood, which slowly dripped onto Remus’ face. Patton giggled. He GIGGLED.

“You don't have any control over me, Remus. Like Logan said: you have no real-world impact.” Patton said, and Remus staggered.

Disbelief is the only real thing that could really hurt him, and all the power he had over Patton was decimated from the ‘Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts’ video a while back. 

“You monster. You come into MY imagination and you DON'T BELIEVE? Maybe thoughts are not enough- action will be more effective!!” Remus cackled, and summoned his mace. Patton yawned.

“Hit Janus with it.” He simply said, and Remus froze.

“No. No-no-no-”

“Imagine what would happen. Oh, that’s a fun thing to do! Imagination is amazing, isn't it? What would happen if you hit him in the stomach? That would sure hurt, I mean-”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!” Remus dropped his mace, covering his ears tightly, similar to how Virgil did earlier. Patton picked up the mace, twirling it around in his hands.

All Janus could do was watch as he reared back, and prepared to swing on the cowering Remus, knocked down by the paralyzing fear of actually hurting someone

“Y’know, this thing is actually quite heavy. I expected it to be so light. You weild it so easily, Remus. Good job at that, kiddo. But I really need to make sure that Logan stays safe, so I have to do this. It won’t hurt too bad, I don't think. Just like a shot; quick and easy.” Patton muttered soothingly.

And the mace swung down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hnbdbhbdgbgenuj


	16. The Villain In Our Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t even

But two hands stopped the descent, first gripping the mace and snatching it away, then wrapping their arms around Patton in a tight squeeze. If it was more gentle, one could call it a hug, but it squeezed all of the air out of Patton’s lungs and left him wheezing.

“Sorry, Padre, but that is my brother. He may be a rat, but he’s mine.” Roman said, and caught sight of his brothers crying face, the makeup he was wearing smudging and streaking down his face.

“Roman- what are you doing?” Janus asked, wary but it was clear in his voice that he was extremely grateful. 

“Making things right. I’m- I’m sorry for stabbing you. And making fun of your name. Stabbing you was definitely worse, but it was wrong to judge you by your name, and I'm sorry.

“Roman! Roman, dear, let go of me. Let go of me riGHT NOW OR ELSE I- OR ELSE I WILL BRING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME!” Patton screamed, the ever-present smile on his face gone and replaced with anger. 

His features were starting to shift and grow, and Roman struggled to hold onto the squirming Patton. His complexion was growing more and more green by the second, and everyone paled.

“Get out of here. Logan is a few hundred feet back, where I made him stay-”

“No I’m right here.” Logan said, making Roman jump, considerably loosening his grip on Patton.

“LOGAN I TOLD YOU TO STAY BACK THERE YOU HEATHEN!!! And what’s worse, you interrupted my speech of heroism-”

“RoMAn lET gO oF ME-”

“Shut up, Patton. As I was saying: Leave. I’m going to open a door and you guys are going to get Thomas and you guys will fix everything. I will make sure Patton is okay.” Roman finished, straining to keep the slowly-growing and shifting Patton under wraps.

“Roman, I don't fear for your safety in the slightest. Who will keep you safe?” Janus asked, Logan trying to help lift him up, but failing to do so because of his still-weakened state.

“I will. I mean, I will help. Protect him, I mean. All of the anxiousness was like, sucking me in. So I thought, might as well add to the pity party. Sorry for ducking out on you guys, and… for not believing you.” Virgil said.

He had somehow spawned into the Imagination, and he quickly placed a kiss on Remus’ lips before getting on his knees and holding Patton’s kicking legs. Patton was still screaming, eyes bulging and turning a pale shade of yellow.

“No offence, but you are not exactly the type I would think could hold themselves in a fight.” Roman grunted, struggling to keep hold of Patton. Virgil rolled his eyes.

He rolled them all of the way into the back of his head, leaving just the whites of his eyes. And his hoodie ripped as violet appendages tore through, spider legs sprouting from his back. When Virgil's pupils returned to their rightful place, he had three additional pairs of eyes, a deep purple with no pupils. 

“Say that again, Princy?” He said, voice distorted and somehow still understandable.

“I stand corrected, my fair emo. We need to hold onto him for as long as possible. And I’m sorry for how I treated you when your name was revealed- It was mean!” Roman shouted above Patton's cries, and Virgil smiled, even through the horrible situation that they were in.

“I know, Princy. I know.” Virgil said, and Roman smiled sadly.

“Then you’ll understand that I have to do this-” Roman summoned the door again, and it swung open. 

Roman maneuvered so quickly that Virgil could not react even in his amplified state. Roman kicked Virgil through the door and made it disappear behind him. 

The last of Virgil Roman saw was the betrayed look on his face, but he could have sworn that there were tears in his eyes as he shut the door.

“Alright Patton, it’s just you and me now.” Roman yelled, and let go of Patton, ready for whatever was going to await him.


	17. Self Care you Bench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doors are closed and pits time to summon Thomas, but there’s a slight delay.

They had all gotten through the door before Roman had closed it. Logan, Remus, and Janus. Janus was leaning against Logan for support, clutching his chest.

“Remus, can you help him?” Logan had asked, but Remus just paled, wiping his face.

“I- I don't want to hurt him. It’s mostly sealed up, and the guts and stuff are mostly in place, but if I push it, then Jan might end up worse. Roman is more suited for healing.” Remus said, and burst into tears again, shaking, “And now Virgil is with him and they are both going to die and be violently maimed and dismembered and will bleed to death on the ground but we won't know that so I will have to go check to make sure that they are okay and I’ll see Patton standing there over their lifeless bodies and-”

“It’s okay Remus. You’re going to be okay, and they are going to be okay too. Now I am going to call Thomas, or at least corporeally draw ourselves to him.” Logan said soothingly, about to do so when the door reappears and Virgil crashes to the ground in front of them, screaming curses supposedly at Roman before the door disappears once more.

“That bastard!! That egotistical bastard!! So full of himself that he won't accept help and- and-” Virgil started to cry , and fell into Remus’ arms even as he was also crying. 

They wrapped their arms tightly around one another, a huddled mass of shaking sobs. Virgil's legs didn't recede, but instead wrapped protectively around Remus.

“Well, this is not going to be alarming for Thomas in the slightest.” Janus said to Logan, who nodded.  
“Remus crying, Virgil’s… form. It is truly interesting- are his eyes fluorescent? Do his appendages function individually or do they have to move as a group- This doesn't matter. Additionally, you are wounded, and Patton is fighting Roman in the Imagination. Pretty shocking for Thomas.” Logan finished, and Janus shook his head.

“You’re forgetting something, Logan.”

“I don't believe I am.”

“I’m sure you don't. Logan, you aren't fooling anyone. Or you're not fooling me, at least. You are in pain, and though it's not physical- wait is it physical? Are you in pain?” Janus asked, fear the domineering expression on his features. Logan curty shook his head.  
“I am adequate.”

“No you’re not, Logan. You went through severe trauma and now you are acting like nothing ever happened so you can make sure everyone else is okay. That is not healthy. Self care is always the priority, Lo. Please acknowledge your pain, so it won't get worse.” Janus said, and pulled Logan down for a kiss with his still too-loose tie. 

Logan leaned in and kissed Janus, tasting salt. Most likely from the tears starting to slip down his face. When they finished, Logan wiped his tears, and put out his hand, and drew Thomas up into the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters a doozy just a warning.


	18. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is here, queer, and Logan is heard.

Thomas was lying on the couch, shovelling ice cream into his mouth. He was once again watching Parks and Rec, and he hadn't been out of the house for weeks. His phone had been dead beside him for the past couple days, but he was fine. Totally fine. Sure, his emotions were whack and he was severely burned out, but that’s fine. Ice cream will fix that. And then he felt a familiar presence in the forefront of his mind, and he sat up with some effort.

“You can come out, Logan. I need to make a video anyway.” He called out to the empty room, and Logan rose up. But it didn't look like Logan. Not entirely. He was pale, and his features were sunken,and he looked tired. His clothes were baggy and his hair shaggy and Thomas could see tear streaks down his face. 

Thomas jumped up from his seat, running to his place, unable to merge into Logan’s side of the room even if he wanted to.

“Logan!! Are you okay? What happened??” He asked incredulously, a bad taste coming into his mouth and a vague sense of guilt washing over him for no apparent reason. Logan shifted in his place, uncomfortable where he stood.

“There have been some occurrences in the mindscape that you should be made aware of. Do not turn on the camera.” Logan said in his usual monotone reserved for Thomas, but he swallowed hard, and tried again.

“Bad things have happened, and we need your help.” Logan rephrased, tears pricking at his eyes. Thomas was pale, and he was reeling. Logan could feel the racing of his thoughts swirling around him, but he pushed through that white noise to continue his talk with Thomas.  
“Wh-what do you mean, Logan?” Thomas asked, voice cracking. Logan sighed and raised his hand in the summoning motion, and Remus and Virgil popped in in the same frame, in Virgil’s spot. 

They were still tangled up with one another, but Virgil had removed his ‘extra’ features for Thomas. The two of them were still crying, makeup on the both of them almost completely washed away with their collective tears.

“Virgil! Remus? Are you guys okay??” Thomas asked, panick entering his voice. Logan shook his head.

“No they are not. They are both suffering because of the current events occurring in the Imagination.”

“What's going on in the imagination?” Thomas asked, and that resulted in louder sobs from Virgil and Remus.

“Secondly, Janus, as his name was revealed to you in the last video, is also not okay, but injured.” Logan remarked, tone soft as he drew Janus up into his spot with him, and Janus gripped the stairs for support, holding on for dear life with one of his arms and with a few more clutching his chest where the wound was. Thomas jumped back, gripping his chest as if he could feel Janus’ pain as well. Maybe he could.

“You have so many arms- Off topic! Janus, are you okay?” Thomas frantically asked, wishing that he could break through the mental barrier that always separated the sides from himself. Janus smiled, one of his hands giving a thumbs-up.

“Oh, please worry about me Thomas. Logan’s been through so little.” The sarcastic tone involuntarily crept into his voice, seeing Thomas making him put his wall of lies back up. Thomas’ eyes returned to the disheveled state of Logan.

“Logan- are you okay?” Thomas asked softly, and Logan reached into his pocket to grab the recorder and pulled it out, handing it to Thomas with a stretchy hand. Thomas involuntarily retched, the sight of the stretchy hand coming towards him, but he grabbed the recorder.

“Thomas, on that recorder is evidence. Several hours worth of it. You see, I was involuntarily locked in my room for forty-five days, and was only recently let out by my- by Janus. And it was Patton. And Roman, but he has been atoning for his crimes by fighting a giant amphibian in the Imagination. This might be the cause of your… moodiness and your creative burnout. I have said this before, but look at the state of the mindscape; you cant solve all of your problems by talking to your facets of your personality. Based on all of teh occurrences, the best option may be therapy, or something to help sort through your problems and all of the white noise. Listen to the tapes and book an appointment Thomas. For your sake and ours. Goodbye, Thomas.” Logan finished, and with a gesture of his hand sunk everyone else out.

Thomas was shaking, unable to process that information.

“No, no. Patton wouldn't. He’s the dad! He is sweet and kind and makes too many puns. He couldn't do any of this-” thomas trailed off, but Logan put up his hand to stop him.

“But he did. Thomas, you aren't perfect. And the amount of stress and pressure you’ve been under? The hours of worrying whether you’re a good person? It has broken Patton. It may be time to consider a factory reset, per say, if therapy doesn't work.” 

“Factory res- what do you mean, Logan?” Thomas asked, warily eying Logan. He sighed, and looked at Thomas with the saddest and most emotional expression Thomas had ever seen on him.

“It means that you wipe everything about us away. You will still be you, but there will be no us. It wouldn't hurt, I don't think. Just a simple thought, and we would be gone.” Logan offered, and Thomas recoiled.

“NO! Logan , I cant do that to you guys! It’s wrong, and I'm not doing it, and that’s final.” Thomas stated, crossing his arms. Logan shook his head, sighing more.

“I’m just giving you options. Listen to the tapes Thomas. Then think about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hurt to write


	19. Reality

Logan sank back out to where Janus and Remus and Viegil were, and curled up next to Janus, who grabbed his hand tightly.

“You took a while to come back; are you okay, dear?” He asked, tired. His eyes were shutting, a smile still on his face. Logan hesitated, but smiled.

“I’m fine. I just had to tell Thomas a few more things.” He said, not technically lying. If he had straight up lied, then Janus would know. He would know the horrible thing that he had suggested to Thomas.

“M’kay. I’m going to sleep. Keep Thomas alive.” He said, and fell asleep on the floor. Remus and Virgil were already passed out on the ground, exhausted from crying so hard.

But Logan was wide awake. He was surrounded by people, but felt so alone. He had told Thomas that he could erase them. Thomas had the right to know all of his options, and everything was so messed up that it might be the only option. Roman had not come back yet, and Logan didn't know if he was okay. 

Janus was still hurt, and he couldn't move very much without a lot of effort. Why couldn't he move? It doesn't make any sens-

Roman’s sword. Roman had asked him once, he had asked him about paralyzing venoms. And Logan had foolishly described all that he knew on the subject in detail, happy to be heard instead of being ignored. Logan’s heart dropped, and he glanced at Janus, sleeping peacefully.

Still except for his breaths. Soon to be still and unmoving if Logan couldn't help him. 

Logan held out his hand, concentrating his very hardest. He needed to summon something; anything to help Janus. But nothing generated, nothing materialized. He tried again, flicking his hand out as he was summoning a side. Nothing happened. 

He kept trying and trying, tears gradually slipping down his face as nothing worked, nothing worked, nothing ever worked. 

And Remus shifted to his left, and Logan froze, realizing how stupid he was being. He might not be able to summon anything, but surely Remus could.

He whispered to Remus, daring not to let go of Janus’ hand. Remus snorted.

“Remus-” He said slightly louder, and Remus’ eyes flicked open and he started, waking up Virgil with a start.

“Huh?” Remus asked, intelligible and tired.

“Remus- come here.” Logan ordered, and Remus obeyed, leaving Virgil to fall back asleep on the stairs.

“Yeah?” He asked quietly and Logan looked up at him in desperation.

“I need you to summon something for me- an anti paralyzer, per say. If I am correct in my assumptions, you are able to manipulate reality and do not need a specific formula. It bewilders me, but makes sense in your reality. So please. Please.”

“Logan, I- I am not good at that sort of thing. I destroy, not create. Whenever I try to do good everything turns out wrong and-”

“Janus will not be okay if you don't do this; surely you felt something else wrong with him as you tried to mend him?”

“Um, no but I can't fix people well unless I am in the imagination because I don't have enough control to do good! I could hurt him and I don't want to hurt anybody, I don't want to hurt anybody else!”

“Please-”

“I can’t-”

There was a faint ripping sound, just in front of them. They both were frozen as a sword, glowing a blinding white, cut through the very fabric of reality of the room. 

Roman burst through, gasping as he forced the hole shut. He was covered in blood, a mixture of red and light blue. He stood there, breathing heavily and shaking.

“I- I can't stop him! He’s coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ROMAN


	20. What Is Best?

Roman looked up, fear in his eyes. There was also blood in his eyes; there was a huge gash on his forehead, bleeding heavily. The blood mixed with the tears streaming down his face.

Roman stumbled to the ground, still shaking.

“IfailedIfailedIfailedIfailedIfailedIfailedIfail-”

“Roman! Summon something to stop the bleeding!” Logan commanded, standing up and breaking free of Janus’ grip of stone. His peaceful expression slightly twitched, but was otherwise still. Roman didn't, continuing to mutter to himself and continuing to shake and bleed onto the carpet. 

So Remus stuck out his hand, squinting his eyes in either concentration or fear. And he summoned bandages, yellowing with age and slightly tattered, but they were bandages. He tenderly wrapped them around Roman’s head, touching so delicately as to not cause him anymore pain.

“Remus, you jus did something good. So summon the anti paralyser.” 

“I can’t-”

“It doesn't have to be perfect, and you just summoned bandages for Roman! So please-”

“LOGAN! I CAN'T REVERSE SOMETHING THAT ROMAN DID BECAUSE ONLY HE CAN! I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU BUT YOU WEREN’T LISTENING!!!” Remus screamed, turning to Logan, who stumbled back at the intensity and the ferocity that Remus directed at him. 

“I- I didn’t know-”

“OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW!! BECAUSE YOU ARE SO OBSESSED WITH BEING RIGHT AND BEING IN CHARGE THAT YOU DON'T LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP YOU!! YOU LET ROMAN STAY IN THE IMAGINATION, YOU TOLD THOMAS EVERYTHING, AND NOW YOU TOLD THOMAS ABOUT REBOOTING!! OF COURSE I WOULD KNOW I AM THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIS THOUGHTS FROM GETTING WORSE AND ALL HE IS THINKING ABOUT IS IF HE SHOULD DELETE US!! YOU ARE IN THE WRONG, LOGAN!!” Remus shouted. 

Logan froze, tears collecting in his eyes and falling swiftly, being replaced by another as soon as the previous slipped down his face.

“I am trying to do what is best for Thomas,” He stated, voice cracking. Virgil was awake, still on the stairs, listening intently, “And if what is best for Thomas is us not existing, then thAT IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!” Logan screamed back, shrill and pained. He was shaking like a leaf, similar to the injured Roman on the floor. Remus stiffened, and knelt to hold onto Roman.

“I am going to make sure that Roman is okay, and IF he is able to stay alive, then he will summon what you need for Janus. And Logan, I swear if you don't do the right thing, then you won't see Roman or I ever again.” Remus stated, and Virgil stood up, going to hug Remus.

“Me neither.” He agreed quietly, eyes wide in terror at what Logan had done. And they sank out, leaving only a stain, a puddle of blood on the floor. Leaving the sleeping Janus and the painfully awake Logan alone.


	21. Interjections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus interrupts a concerned Thomas

Thomas was in the middle of the tapes, listening numbly to Logan’s words. He hadn't noticed that Logan was gone, hadn't noticed the absence of the familiar presence in the front of his brain, always waiting and ready to chime in. Ready to help in any way Thomas would need.

And he hadn't noticed him gone. What did that say about him? What did that say about his morality? What did that say about his mental state? Maybe Logan was right-maybe he needed help. Maybe he needed to have a factory re-

“Skinning a weasel with your teeth~” A familiar voice chimed softly in the back of his brain, and Thomas scowled, but remembered how Remus was sobbing while clutching Virgil during his talk with Logan, where he recommended a facto-

“Stuffing your spleen with kidney beans~” Thomas scrunched his eyes shut, not wanting that image in his brain. Why couldn't he think about the fac-

“Eating the heart of a Blue Whale! Imagine how long that would take, the blood seeping out of your mouth and its raw and sickly and gross-”

“REMUS! If you want to talk, just come out!” Thomas cried, and he popped into the room, tear streaks apparent on his face. The tears had wiped off his makeup, and he looked- he looked surprisingly normal. Surprisingly like Roman.

“Thanks for inviting me, Thomathy~” He said, his voice pitchy and sing-songy. It made it easy to forget how he was earlier. How he was sobbing on the floor. Thomas pressed pause on the recordings, and sat up.

“What do you want to talk ab-”

“You can't delete us! If you do, we would be… We would be gone! Scratched out with sandpaper until we are just mush in your brain. Logan is crazy, and he-”

“Remus, calm down, you need to calm do-”

“Everything may be dying and everything may be going wrong but you can't delete us you just can't! What about… What about your videos? Would you just pretend to play us? Just dress up as us and make up the plot as you go? That’s madness! Please, Thomas! I am begging you!” Remus said, the voice abandoned and just left with a raw, begging voice. A voice of a desperate man, vying for his last chance. Thomas shook his head, and gave Remus a comforting look.

“Remus, I would never do that to you guys. Never. Don’t worry. I’m going to fix things, I promi- what's happening? Ow!” Thomas cried out, clutching his head in pain. It felt like something was clawing to get out, screeching as they tried to rip through into the mindscape. 

Like it was trying to escape from the Imagination.

And Remus disappeared, a look of shock on his face the moment before he was gone. Thomas, still clutching his head, fast-forwarded on the recorder, trying to get past the hours of ramblings. Until he reached the last recording, labeled with an E. 

E for Evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh


	22. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wrath of Patton, and a choice

Remus was unwillingly pulled from the conversation, being yanked into the mindscape. When he popped up, all he could see was bulging yellow eyes, slits splicing down the middle.

“Hello, Remus.” The booming voice stated, the webbed hand wrapping tightly around the squirming Remus.

“PATTON-- LET ME GO!!” He shouted, and bit Patton's hand in an attempt to get him to let out. The skin was moist and hard simultaneously, and Remus spit out mucus in disgust.

“I can’t- I have to make sure that everything is perfect. A perfect family, a perfect home, and a perfect mind. All for Thomas!” Patton was not pixelated as he had been in the video. He was real, and he was terrifying. He had to stoop down to remain under the roof in the mindscape. 

Patton carried the screaming Remus to the couch, where the rest of the sides were sitting. They were struggling in their bonds, the ropes digging in tighter the more they struggled.

Patton delicately tied Remus up with his clumsy webbed fingers, and threw him on the couch next to Virgil. Then he doubled over, and shrank down, slowly turning back into himself, growing less green with each second. When he was fully human, his shirt was still ripped, and his face was covered in a thin layer of slime. He was smiling widely.

“You guys haven't been very nice! Trapping me in the imagination was not very nice. You made me angry! And I hate being angry!” Patton’s grin twitched.

“Trapping Logan in his room wasn’t very nice!” Virgil spat, though he didn't look at Logan. He was presumably still made at Logan. Patton’s face twitched again before resuming his smile.

“It was for his own good. Everything that happens after this is for your own good! We are going to be the perfect family for Thomas!” Patton cackled as Remus normally would, while the latter continued to scream in his seat.

“LETMEGOLETMEGOLETMEGOLETMEGO-” He howled, and Patton snapped, and Remus’ hand was slammed over his mouth. Looking around, he could see that everybody's mouth was covered except for Virgil’s. And Janus’, but Janus was still asleep. Patton clasped his hands together loudly, and waved again, and everyone was dressed in different clothes.

Virgil was dressed in a lavender sweater with cutesy bats seeming to flutter on it. When Virgil voiced his protests, his hand slapped over his mouth.

Roman had on white dress shirt and a red pencil skirt, but the white shirt was almost immediately doused in his own blood as he silently panicked in his seat.

Logan was dressed in a unicorn onesie. He scowled underneath his hand. He was the only one supposed to decide whether he should wear something so frivolous.

Janus was in a yellow ruffled dress, with a black sweater. And his scales turned into pink sequins. He shifted uncomfortably in his sleep. His eyes seemed to be shut. Not completely shut, but shut enough. 

And Remus was dressed in a Beetle-Juice-esque suit, and his white streak was dyed brown to match the rest of his hair. He screamed his protests under his hands.

Patton cheered, smiling widely.

“You guys look so cute! This is perfect! Now about the pesky talking- What about no mouths at al-” Janus abruptly snapped his hand out, screaming,

“THOMAS!” And Thomas popped him, snapped in by Janus’ panic. Patton scowled for a moment, snapping Janus’ hand that was still able to move over his mouth.

“Patton! What are you doing??” Thomas asked in horror, glancing at the sides that he could see but not touch, look upon but not help.

Patton turned to face him, grinning.

“I am making things right, Thomas. And you cannot stop me from making everything perfect!” And Patton tried to sink Thomas out of the picture. But he could not. Thomas stood firm, albeit shaking a little. Y’know, from the terror of what his morality had become. 

“You are not fixing anything, Patton. Come on, we can talk this out-”

“All this talking, only just talking!! Fighting from different angles, different sides fighting on separate sides of the room. Nothing ever got solved by that, and it just made us worse! I can make everything about you perfect, and I can fix everything!”

“ Imagine it: A Logic that only chimes in when needed, and gives unbiased advice. A singular creativity not marred by pride or by yucky thoughts, a happier and therefore less effective Anxiety, no more lies or intrusive thoughts, and your Happy-Pappy-Patton leading the way! Then everything will be perfect!” Patton cried out, smiling wide and unflinching.

Thomas looked around, and he locked eyes with Logan, who gave a silent nod, unable to say anything from behind his hand. His eyes were filled with tears, Thomas noted. 

Remus was shaking and sobbing, knowing full well what was coming, with everyone else blissfully unaware. He leaned against Virgil, wanting to be with him one last time.

Logan did the same with Janus, who was having a hard time breathing. He couldn't move anymore even if he wanted too. He was as mobile as rock. 

Roman sat still, blood and tears leaking down his face. Something was wrong; he could sense it. But he couldn’t put his finger on it. And that terrified him.

Thomas squeezed his eyes shut, taking in one last glance at those around him.

“Everything can’t be perfect, Patton. Certainly not me. I’m sorry-”

And with his eyes still shut, he snapped his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry- wait for the next chapter for a few days so I can survive artistic burnout


	23. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas’ Log, day Thirty-tw-

“This is day thirty-two of trying to get them back. How did they even appear in the first place? Maybe if I knew that, I would know what to do right now. 

I’ve been going to a therapist a few times a week. It’s cool. His name is Dr.Picani, and he explains things to me in ways that I’ll understand. He has such extensive knowledge of cartoons, Goodness gracious, I think he can recite Steven Universe verbatim. Hehe. 

It’s just so quiet around here- it feels empty. No humming songs paying in my head, no more brainstorming sessions with Roman, not more listening to music with Virgil, no more talking with Logan, and no more of Remus or De-Janus. 

And Patton… I thought he was good. I thought I was good. But I guess it's not all black and white. I guess that there were no light or dark sides; only mixing shades of gray. 

Remus laughing, shimmying his shoulders while I was brushing my teeth. Logan standing over my shoulder, peering over my work with a comforting presence. Virgil huddled under blankets to feel safe. 

Roman bouncing on the walls when the announcement for Frozen II came out. Virgil chuckling and throwing a pillow at him. Janus popping in to grab jam occasionally, complimenting all the sides who passed in his confusing way. And before everything went wrong, Patton smiling. Not too wide, not too forced; just… smiling. He made puns and kept begging Logan to let me get a cat. 

And now I’ll never see them again. What did I do the first time? What made me able to summon them? Was it another or my moral dilemmas? Was it coincidence? Was it fate?” Thomas mused aloud., and he clicked off the recorder.

“Now, Thomas. Fate doesn't exist. You make your own fate.” A familiar voice said, and Thomas’ heart leapt. He spun around to see Loga-

Not Logan.

The man standing there was tall and lanky, hair slicked back to perfection. He wore an orange bowtie, and thick-rimmed shades.

“You’re not Logan…” Thomas trailed off, voice and all reason leaving him. The man shook his head, a small smile on his face. A smile, but at the same time a sad expression.

“I know who you speak of; The Logan who caused the reboot. And that is what it was: a reboot. I am Reason, or Common Sense. I am logic, but I am not. I am Logan, yet I am an entirely different person. I’m sorry about your old friends, your old ‘facets of your personality’, but they are gone.”

“They can’t be-”

“There are consequences to every action, Thomas. And this is yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....
> 
> If you guys want a sequel let me know I have some ideas, but if not, thank you for reading this :D This was my first fic and I never expected it to get so much love! Thanks for sticking with me trough every painful moment, and have a good day!
> 
> ...
> 
> whatifpattonsnotgone


	24. Next part of the Series!!!!

Hey guys! I think if you click the next button you can see the next chapters of the series going up =D

A little preview, as a treat:

“Well, this is sure a pickle.” Patton said. He knew he was fading. But Thomas was hesitant; he didn't want them to be gone.

And if you hesitate, well…

“Let’s just see how this works out for you, Thomas.”

=D


End file.
